As I look through the contents pages
of journals each day, I continue to encounter article titles that make me want
to _____ . Year after year, the "bad" titles just keep on comin'.
I opine, "The more things change, the more they are the same" I've
often considered stopping this annual compilation because of my inability to
exert a profound effect on the creators of these titles. Then,
for some inexplicable reason, someone will ask me about the status of my column. This year I am providing an added bonus (go to the end of this column) - a do-it-yourself section. Several "worthy" titles from 2000 and 2001 did not make it into last year's listing. So make up your own clever titles and send them to me. Maybe I'll publish an addendum. Meanwhile, the recipients of this year's Dunn-In Awards in the 13 "lucky" categories are:
William Jefferson Clinton Award
Fedwa Malti-Douglas, Law Meets Food: Breakfast at Hillary's, 77 IND. L.J. 295 (2002).
Shira D. Weiner, Note, Mouse-to-Mouse Resuscitation: Cybermedicine and the Need for Federal Regulation, 23 CARDOZO L. REV. 1107 (2002).
Redundancy Award/Redundancy Award/Redundancy Award
Bradley Scott Shannon, Action Is an Action Is an Action Is an Action, 77 WASH. L. REV. 65 (2002).
Starkist Award (a tie)
Robert J. Haupt, Never Lay a Salmon on the Ground with His Head Toward the River: State of Washington Sues Yakamas over Alcohol Ban, 26 AM. INDIAN L. REV. 67 (2001-02).
H. Richard Uviller, Foreword: Fisher Goes on the Quintessential Fishing Expedition and Hubbell is Off the Hook, 91 J. CRIM. L. & CRIMINOLOGY 311 (2001).
Larry Flint Award
Timothy E. Wirth, Disinfectants, Nudes, and Other Adventures, 13 COL. J. INT'L ENVT'L L. & POL'Y 15 (2002).
Big Bad Wolf Award
Mark G. Young, What Big Eyes and Ears You Have!: A New Regime for Covert Governmental Surveillance, 70 FORDHAM L. REV. 1071 (2001).
Edam Up (another tie)
Jeffery Armistead, Whose Cheese Is It Anyway? Correctly Slicing the European Regulation Concerning Protections for Geographic Indications, 10 TRANSNAT'L L. & CONTEMP. PROBS. 303 (2000).
Lawrence Jenab, Will the Cookie Crumble? An Analysis of Internet Piracy Regulatory Schemes Proposed in the 106th Congress, 49 U. KAN. L. REV. 641 (2001).
Newest Olympic Sport Award
Rachael Abramson, Catching Flies with Chopsticks: China's Strategic Leap into Wireless Telecommunications, 11 MINN. J. GLOBAL TRADE 1 (2002).
Deborah Robinson, Point Blank: Products Liability Law Takes Aim at Guns, 4 J. HEALTH CARE L. & POL'Y 88 (2001).
Dress for Success Award (yet another tie)
John H. Goolsby, Is the Garment Industry Trying to Pull the Wool over Your Eyes? The Need for Open Communication to Promote Labor Rights in China, 19 LAW & INEQ. 193 (2001).
Lucinda Saunders, Note, Rich and Rare are the Gems They War: Holding De Beers Accountable for Trading Conflict Diamonds, 24 FORDHAM INT'L L.J. 1402 (2001).
Cleopatra's Asp Award
Gary Minda, Denial: Not Just a River in Egypt, 16 CONN. J. INT'L L. 901 (2001).
HBO's "Real Sex" Award
Sherri A. Jayson, "Loving Infertile Couple Seeks Woman Age 18-31 to Help Have Baby. $6,500 Plus Expenses and a Gift": Should We Regulate the Use of Assisted Reproductive Technologies By Older Women?, 11 ALBANY L.J. SCI. & TECH. 287 (2001).
Oral Hygiene Award
Amanda McClosky Schwob, Open Wide-I Meant Your Pocket: Repercussions of the Dental Exclusion to the Medicare Act, 9 ELDER L.J. 83 (2001).
Make-Up-Your-Own Clever Title Category
Richard Amanda, Elvis Karaoke Shakespeare and the Search for a Copyrightable Stage Direction, 43 ARIZ. L. REV. 677 (2001).
Joseph J. Beard, Clones, Bones and Twilight Zones: Protecting the Digital Person: The Quick, the Dead and the Imaginary, 16 BERKELEY TECH. L.J. 1165 (2001).
Christina M. Bidlingmaier, No More Clowning Around: Ringling Bros.-Barnum & Bailey Combined Shows, Inc. v. Utah Division of Travel Development Evaluates the Federal Trademark Dilution Act, 7 VILL. SPORTS & ENT. L.J. 279 (2000).
Credence E. Fogo, The Postman Always Rings 4,000 Times: New Approaches to Curb Spam, 18 JOHN MARSHALL J. COMPUTER & INFO. L. 915 (2000).
Carl H. Johnson, A Comity of Errors: Why John v. Baker Is Only a Tentative First Step in the Right Direction, 18 ALASKA L. REV. 1 (2001).
George I. Lovell, That Sick Chicken Won't Hunt: The Limits of a Judicially Enforced Non-Delegation Doctrine, 17 CONST. COMMENT. 79 (2000).
Erin Ann O'Hara, Brain Plasticity and Spanish Moss in Biolegal Analysis, 53 FLA. L. REV. 905 (2001).
J.D. Roberts, Presidents and Mummies and Patents, Oh My: Why Patenting Special Effects Technology Is Like a Box of Chocolates, You Never Know What You're Going to Get, 7 VILL. SPORTS & ENT. L.J. 237 (2000).
Perry J. Saidman, Kan TrafFix Kops Katch the Karavan Kopy Kats? or Beyond Functionality: Design Patents are the Key to Unlocking the Trade Dress/Patent Conundrum, 82 J. PAT. & TRADEMARK OFF. SOC. 839 (2000).
Cecelia B. Skeen, Knick Knack Paddy Whack Leave the FSC Alone: An Analysis of the WTO Ruling That the U.S. Foreign Sales Corporation Program is an Illegal Export Subsidy Under GATT, 35 NEW ENG. L. REV. 69 (2000).
Sarah Dianne Stevenson, The Revenge
of the Hot Dog Slut: Peer Harassment After Davis v. Monroe, 10 SO. CAL. REV.
L. & WOMEN'S STUDIES 137 (2000).
1. You fill in the blank. Some choices to consider are "gag," "urp," "barf," "throw up," "giggle," "wince," "shout," and "run screaming into the night."
2. Alphonse Karr, Les Guepes, January 1849 (6th Series, 1859).
3. Assuming that there are any readers. Of course, the actual writers of law review articles rarely have a profound effect on their readers (assuming again that there are any readers).
4. For example, a former employee of mine (who I am sure would prefer to remain anonymous) e-mailed me on October 3, 2002, as follows: "Don, I was just looking at some past issues of the LLNE News and noticed that the Dunn In Awards had not been published recently. Are you still producing them? If you've got a new one that you're working on I know that the new editors of the LLNE News would love to publish it. [Emphasis added]. At first I was touched. Then I realized that "would love to publish it" is a euphemism for "we need filler fast."
5. I have an arbitrary cut-off entry date that is known only to me.
6. Reminder: see end of column.
7. See supra text accompanying note
Next: Co-Editor's Note
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